Sharon & Kenneth's Wedding Ceremony

One of the most memorable wedding ceremonies was Sharon and Kenneth's Dungeons & Dragons-themed wedding!

I feel so fortunate to have been the officiant at such a fun wedding. For the ceremony, I made them a large 20-sided die, which they rolled for a "sanity check" before exchanging vows.


Of course, I had weighted it so that it always comes up 20, but neither of them knew this in advance—so you can imagine the surprised look on their faces when it came up 20 both times!


Before we begin today’s ceremony, I would just like to say a few words about an enchantress by the name of Lastai.

Lastai is Chaotic Good and her domains are Chaos, Good, and Pleasure. Her symbol is the peach, and her favoured weapon is the quarter-staff.

Lastai has just a few small temples in the realm of Dungeons & Dragons, mostly found in large cities like Freeport and Ptolus.

She is powerfully sensual, but she is neither seductive nor decadent.


She teaches that love is a gift meant to be properly enjoyed, and she stresses the importance of equality in all kinds of relationships.

The clerics of Lastai are often called upon to perform wedding ceremonies and counsel couples to find love and delight in their own lives.

Therefore, I must ask each of you to do something very important.

Sharon, please turn to Kenneth and repeat after me:

I'll treasure every dungeon with you.
No matter how many 1's you roll.
I’ll be your saving throw.
Your fortitude, reflex, and will.
You are my natural 20.


Kenneth, please turn to Sharon and repeat after me:

I'll treasure every dungeon with you.
No matter many 1's you roll.
I’ll be your saving throw.
Your fortitude, reflex, and will.
You are my natural 20.


Thank you.


Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here today to witness the wedding ceremony of Kenneth and Sharon.

In the quiet of this special moment, in the chambers that offer such a lovely backdrop to this solemn occasion, we pause—so we may fully appreciate the rich experiences of life that have brought Sharon and Kenneth to this high point in their lives.

We are especially grateful for the values they have acquired by the example set by those who loved, nurtured, and pointed them along life’s path.

We are grateful today that within them is the dream of a great love, and the resources to use that love in creating a life and home together.

We are thankful for these values they have found by their own strivings.

We celebrate as they draw on their ability scores and moral alignment to design each new adventure together.

As Kenneth & Sharon make their promises to each other in just a few moments, may they make them with the deepest insight into their meaning and sincerity.


My name is Sassan Sanei and I am honoured to perform today’s ceremony.

I am not a dungeon master.

Nor am I a fighter, or a rogue, or a wizard.

I am a licensed marriage officiant, certified by Humanist Canada and authorized by the Province of Ontario to legally solemnize marriages.

Humanism is a dynamic way of life that is guided by rational thought and scientific inquiry, inspired by music and art, and motivated by ethics, compassion, and fairness.

It is my legal obligation to ensure that you are both here today of your own free will. Therefore, I will ask you now for—a sanity check.

Sharon, could you roll for a sanity check please.

(SHARON rolls 20-sided die.)

It’s a natural 20!

Kenneth, could you roll for a sanity check please.

(KENNETH rolls 20-sided die.)

Another natural 20! We may proceed!

In this ceremony, Sharon & Kenneth dedicate themselves to the happiness and well-being of each other, in a union of mutual love, caring and responsibility.

It is this maturing of love, freely given and returned, that is both ordinary and extraordinary, because it is about everyday living.


Lianna, Jennifer, Jess, Nita, Peter, Amanda, Xavier, and Tristan:

Sharon and Kenneth are honoured to have you here with them today as witnesses to the happiness they have found in each together, and to the pledges they make to one another today.

Our kinship is also shared by those who are not here with us today.

Let us surround Kenneth and Sharon with our good and loving thoughts as they promise themselves to each other today.


Honey is a symbol of the sweetness in life.

And so, with this dish of honey, we proclaim this day a day of great joy and celebration—a sweet day to remember indeed.

Sharon, please dip this spoon into the honey and touch it to Kenneth’s lips.


(SHARON offers the honey to Kenneth.)


Kenneth, please dip this spoon into the honey and touch it to Sharon’s lips.

(KENNETH offers the honey to Sharon.)


As you now share this honey, so may you now share the sweetness of a shared life together.


May you find life’s joys doubly heartened, may any bitterness be sweetened, and may the time, companionship, and love you share be as sweet as this honey.


The act of speaking vows is a simple one—perhaps too simple for the profound meaning that vows hold: commitment to a partner, the making of special places in our hearts to be shared with another person, and the acceptance of our own individuality so that we can love and be loved.

Sharon & Kenneth, you are here today to affirm the union that already exists between you.

In this realm, it is very common to have magic items with numerical modifiers that represent an ability bonus. The higher the bonus, the better.

We have two rings with a +5 bonus here today. One is a “+5 Ring of Devotion” and the other is a “+5 Ring of Charming.”

The power is granted to the person wearing the ring.

Sharon, please take this +5 Ring of Charming and repeat after me:

Kenneth, as I place this ring on your finger,
I give you all that I am
and ever hope to be.

Now place the ring on Kenneth's finger.

(SHARON puts the ring on Kenneth's finger.)

(SHARON recites her vows to Kenneth - not printed here.)

Kenneth, please take this +5 Ring of Devotion and repeat after me:

Sharon, you are my friend,
my true love,
and my partner for life.

Now place the ring on Sharon's finger.

(KENNETH puts the ring on Sharon's finger.)


(KENNETH recites his vows to Sharon - not printed here.)

Because these rings have no end or beginning, they signify the continuation of your journey together.


Sharon and Kenneth, for as much as you have pledged your love and commitment to the other, and for as much as you have declared the same in the presence of these witnesses,

I now pronounce you—husband and wife!

To start your life of blissful adventures, please seal your vows with a kiss!

(SHARON and KENNETH kiss.)

(LIANA and JENNIFER witness the signing of the marriage licence.)


Kenneth, Sharon, as you embark on the next adventure of your campaign, remember how strength, constitution, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma grow when you nourish them together.

And as you think back to this perfect day, remember how your parents Nita and Jess, and your uncle Peter, and your sister Jennifer, and your nephews Tristan and Xavier, and your friends Lianna and Amanda, and I, witnessed your marriage today.

May this memory stay with you, and guide you always to believe in your shared destiny, for it is with this courage that you will create a marriage that will strengthen and last all the days of your lives.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am honoured to present the newlyweds, Sharon & Kenneth!